Emotional Maturity
Fellow disciple makers, Emotional maturity is hard to achieve. Like myself, I often notice that people are emotionally needy. As a volunteer with no special title, it seems to me that this need has been largely ignored in most discipleship training. I hope you find these thoughts challenging.
photo courtesy of fabrisalvetti Insights from Dare to DisciplineIn his classic book Dare to Discipline, Dr. James Dobson tells the story of King Frederick II, who in the 13th century conducted an experiment that involved fifty infants. The purpose of the experiment was to discover what language a baby would speak if the baby never heard a spoken word. The infants were assigned foster mothers. These care givers were permitted to bathe and feed the infants, but not talk to them. All fifty babies died.
Everyone needs loveNurturing relationships are vital to survival. An unloved child cannot make it. Likewise, in God’s Kingdom the absence of nurturing love leaves people struggling to find emotional maturity. They become stuck – unable to relate positively to God, others or themselves. All people begin their Christian life with some “emotional baggage.”All families are affected by sinSome mistakenly assume that they are the only ones born into a dysfunctional family. The reality is that all families are broken and marred by the effects of sin. Although our families of origin and other traumatic life experiences have left an imprint on our lives, it is important that we not see ourselves as total victims. We cannot become mature emotionally if we adopt a “victim” mindset.Joseph and his brothersJoseph initially believed his brothers sold him to Egypt. Years later he realized that God sent him to save lives (Genesis 45:7). From the time they sold him, until Joseph was reunited with his brothers, twenty-two years passed. This fact alone helps us realize how much time it takes to process certain events in our life. By coming to terms with God’s providential plan, Joseph matured into a spiritual and emotional adult.Help others become matureFollowers of Jesus are at various levels of emotional maturity. Some are insecure and needy; others seem confident and self assured. Regardless of background or experiences, all people have inadequate images of God, distorted views of themselves and unhealthy ways of relating to others. Discipleship training must address this part of our humanity because it’s impossible to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature. To become mature disciples we must first identify and address unhealthy tendencies.
Integrate truth and loveOne key to Jesus’ emotional maturity was integrating truth and love. The child grew and became strong; he was filled with wisdom and the grace of God was upon him (Luke 2:40). This verse provides a pattern for all of Christ’s followers to imitate.To further help you understand how to become mature as an adult, I highly recommend Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, by Peter Scazzero. In fact, I list this book as one of my
favorites.
Scazzero writes, “It is easy to grow physically into a chronological adult. It is quite another to grow into an emotionally healthy adult. Many people may be, chronologically, forty-five years old but remain an emotional infant, child or adolescent.”
In future newsletters I will offer more ideas for growing up emotionally. In the meantime, be patient with yourself and those you are discipling. Understand that emotional maturity comes from the right mix of grace, truth and time.
Please email us with your questions or comments. Author: Paul Schlieker www.bible-study-lesson-plans.com
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