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How to Build Trust
Free Bible Study Materials for Christian Discipleship February 2010
How to build trust in your small group
Dear Fellow Disciple-makers,
How do you develop closeness? For me, it's when struggles are shared. Whenever someone shares a personal struggle or confesses a sin, I invariably feel closer to him. I believe most of us are naturally drawn to the people who admit they aren't perfect.
Christian relationships are key
As a leader, think about how you can spread the love of Jesus to the people in your small group. The gospel flows through hearts, not books. Principles alone are not enough. During his earthly ministry, Jesus didn't give his disciples a set of commentaries to help them analyze theories and debate principles. He gave them himself. The gospel flows through relationships -- relationships of trust.
The members of your small group need relationships they can trust. Your goal is train your members to love well. As a leader, how you love is more important than what you know or achieve. People change when someone they trust tells them the truth.
Expressing that Jesus is love
Expressing the love of Jesus requires a safe environment. This environment can be created (in your small group) by separating the men from the women on a regular basis. Segregation by gender creates a new and safe environment for sharing. In this safe setting you can train your members to practice the "one another" commands in Scripture. This is how to build trust.
As an insurance agent I have no guaranteed salary. I am paid solely by commissions. As a result, there have been several times throughout my career when my weekly paycheck was $0. Whether it is working without a paycheck or being unemployed, men can naturally relate. We all share the need to depend upon God to provide financially. This kind of sharing creates a deep bond.
Build trust through gender specific groups
At your next meeting open up to your small group (members of the same gender) what is really going on inside you -- job, marriage, family, relationship with God, etc. Each week in the small group I attend, we set aside 45 minutes for Bible study and 45 minutes for sharing in
gender specific groups.
This practice is now a routine and every member of our small group looks forward to this segment of our time together.
People want to share personal things, but they must be convinced it is safe to do so. As the leader, make it safe by separating the men from the women and then go first. Others will follow your lead. Lives will change through simple loving relationships. Your
vulnerability
will draw people together faster than you think.
Kingdom-Driven Discipleship
is written to motivate and train people to become disciple-makers. Try it with your small group.
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